Vent Art From the Heart - The Full Spectrum of Menhera
[Originally Posted on Mar 24, 2022 at 7:01pm]
This was originally an article written for the “Kei Club” magazine in fall of 2019.
It has been republished here.
Hello Kei Clubbers! Today I have a bit of a ‘vent piece’ on menhera! *ba-dum tsh*
Ok but seriously, I’ve been feeling frustrated with some negative feedback.
Let’s start at the beginning
I’m creating a new menhera line, Anxiety Angel, centering around anxiety and intrusive thoughts, with a harsh ‘hurt but survived’ vibe, exemplified with a black base and bright line work. Sounds like a good, standard menhera print, right? Well...
This is a very personal piece for me. As a lucky owner of a PTSD, I’m gifted with a party of various bRaIN problems. With Anxiety Angel I’ve chosen to focus on my personal intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts for myself, like for many others, sit in the background of my mind playing on repeat. An annoying buzz for sure, but muted, and mostly - unintrusive *ba-dum tsh*. But what exactly is running through my head like a broken record?
“I hate myself and I want to die.”
I don’t actually want to die.
and, I usually don’t hate myself too much. But those quiet words are there, constantly bogging me down. So I took this phrase and repeated it - looping and cycling around a metaphorical ‘anxiety angel’. I hoped this would impart the feeling of my nonstop background noise to viewers. I’m also venting “Look at what I live with! This is my existence.”
But...
“I hate myself and I want to die.”
Many who’ve previewed this art dislike it. My printer (a relative of mine) expressed a great deal of reluctance in printing my shirts at all. Even some menhera have told me that it’s just ... too much... for their personal tastes.
I admit I expected some push back but not this much. I remember the ‘og’ menhera prints by Nemutai, ankoROCK, etc., with nooses, razor blades, repeating text of ‘death’...‘suicide’, and internally I lament.
It’s not that I hate the sweeter styles popular in the west, but I feel like we’re missing part of the point of menhera.
Artwork and Thigh High Designs by Nemutai
Art by Kuua Oyasumi, censored and cropped
Menhera is expression and awareness about issues that are societally ignored and stigmatized. Positivity is important but it doesn’t show the full picture, and the stark reality of some menhera topics is lost when we only allow sterilized messages. What happened to the “Pay attention!!” vibes the harsher original prints had?
We are not going to pretend everything is ok just to make you feel better. We exist!
Pay attention!
Maybe in the end I am just the old man (old man-hera? *ba-dum tsh*) shaking my cane at the new wave.
“I hate myself and I want to die.”
It’s too dark. It’s too pessimistic. It’s not a positive message.
It’s not a happy thought. I don’t like it either. But it’s there. Always. Shouldn’t we be allowed to express the negative?
Can’t vent art actually vent?
Signing off,
Puvithel
Menhera Designer, Trauma Survivor